Daily Chucks

[petenv]

LOL ! Thank you mr rogie.

[mr rogie]

A Friend Is Like A Good Bra...

Hard to Find

Supportive

Comfortable

Always Lifts You Up

Never Lets You Down or Leaves You Hanging

And Is Always Close To Your Heart!!!

[petenv]

mr rogie , That is very true.

[ellanoize]

A city cop was on his horse waiting to cross the street when a little girl stopped beside him on her shiny new bike.

Nice bike," the cop said, "Did Santa bring it to you?" "Yep," the little girl said, "He sure did!"
The cop looked the bike over and handed the girl a $20 ticket for a safety violation, saying, "Next year tell Santa to put a reflector light on the back of it."

The young girl looked up at the cop and said, "Nice horse you got there sir, did Santa bring it to you?" "Yes, he sure did," chuckled the cop.

The little girl looked up at the cop and said, "Next year tell Santa the dick goes underneath the horse, not on top.

[petenv]

LOL !

[ellanoize]

A store that sells husbands has just opened in New York City, where a
woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is
a description of how the store operates. You may visit the store ONLY ONCE!
>
> There are six floors and the attributes of the men increase as the
shopper ascends the flights. There is, however, a catch you may choose any
man from a particular floor, or you may choose to go up a floor, but you
cannot go back down except to exit the building! So, a woman goes to the
Husband Store to find a husband.
>
> On the first floor the sign on the door reads:
> Floor 1 - These men have jobs and love the Lord.
>
> The second floor sign reads:
> Floor 2 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, and love kids.
>
> The third floor sign reads:
> Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, and are
extremely good looking.
>
> "Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.
>
> She goes to the fourth floor and sign reads:
> Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop- dead
good looking and help with the housework.
>
> "Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!"
>
> Still, she goes to the fifth floor and sign reads:
> Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop- dead
gorgeous, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak.
>
> She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the sign
reads:
> Floor 6 - You are visitor 4,363,012 to this floor. There are no men on
this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to
please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store. Watch your step as you
exit the building, and have a nice day!

[petenv]

LOL !

[ellanoize]

My neighbor found out her dog could hardly hear so she took it to the veterinarian. He found that the problem was hair in its ears so he cleaned both ears And the dog could hear fine.

The vet then proceeded to tell the lady that if she wanted to keep this from reoccurring she should go to the store and get some Nair hair remover And rub it in its ears once a month.

The lady goes to the drug store and gets some Nair. At the register The druggist tells her, "If you're going to use this under your arms don't use Deodorant for a few days."

The lady says "I'm not using it under my arms.

"The druggist says "If you're using it on your legs don't shave for a couple of days."

The lady says "I'm not using it on my legs either. If you must know, I'm using it on my schnauzer."

The druggist says "In that case stay off your bicycle for a week."

[mr rogie]

Women are Bad [img]wink.gif[/img]

A man was sitting on a blanket at the beach. He had no arms and no legs.
Three women were walking past and felt very sorry for the poor man.
The first woman said "Have you ever had a hug?"
The man said "No," so she gave him a hug and walked on.
The second woman said "Have you ever had a kiss?"
The man said "No," so she gave him a kiss and walked on.
The third woman walked over to him and whispered in his ear "Have you ever been f****d?"
The fellow looked up in amazement and said "No"
She said "You will be when the tide comes in"

[petenv]

LOL.